In Latin, conciliare means "to bring people together, or to make them have friendly feelings toward each other." More literally, this conciliare means "to call (people) together." 

Back around the year 1540, we pulled conciliare into English as "conciliate." When people are mad at you or when they see you as the enemy, and you try to conciliate them, you try to get back on their good side: to make them feel friendly toward you. Conciliating people means you do things for them to show them that you're not the enemy, or to show that you don't want to fight, that you want to get along or be friends.

So, something conciliatory, like a conciliatory smile or promise, is the kind that tries to bring peace or good feelings back to a relationship.

Part of speech:

Adjective: "She gave him a conciliatory smile;" "Henry Kissinger had a conciliatory attitude toward China."

Other forms: 

There's an alternate adjective: "conciliative." Or just say "reconciliatory," if you like; that's an uncommon word, but it's easy to understand. 

The verb forms are "conciliate," "conciliated," and "conciliating."

The act or process of conciliating is "conciliation." And the people who conciliate are "conciliators."

The adverb, a terribly ugly thing, is "conciliatorily." 

There are more forms, but let's stop there! Some other forms appear only in specific geopolitical contexts... and some are just silly, like "conciliatrix." Yup... a female conciliator is a conciliatrix.

how to use it:

Pick the common word "conciliatory" when you need to sound serious and formal.

You could talk about someone's conciliatory tone, smile, facial expression, language, attitude, or approach as they try to soothe an upset person or end a conflict.

Or, talk about people's conciliatory offers, apologies, promises, concessions, compromises, etc.

As we'll see in the examples below, conciliation often takes place publicly, like between two nations, or between a CEO and their employees. But it can also take place privately: between friends, family members, and sweethearts. What matters is that you're trying to maintain or improve the relationship.

examples:

"While Friday's meeting would eventually grow heated, it began on a conciliatory note. [CEO Jason Fried] began the meeting by apologizing for announcing the policy changes by a public blog post rather than first telling all employees." 
   — Casey Newton, The Verge, 3 May 2021

"After conciliatory moves by Turkey, Saudi Arabia deposited $5 billion in Turkey's central bank in March, helping shore up its sagging foreign currency reserves."
   — Ben Hubbard, New York Times, 28 May 2023

has this page helped you understand "conciliatory"?

Awesome, I'm glad it helped!

Thanks for letting me know!
If you have any questions about this word, please message me at Liesl@HiloTutor.com.

study it:

Explain the meaning of "conciliatory" without saying "appeasing" or "placating."

try it out:

Although it's usually people and their gestures that we call conciliatory, we can get figurative and say that the food or drinks we're sharing are conciliatory. Meaning, they're helping us move past our tension.  

Try filling in the blanks: "(People) share a conciliatory (food, drink, or meal of some kind)."

Example 1: "After Haymitch loses his temper with Katniss and Peeta, the next morning he shares a conciliatory breakfast with them."

Example 2: "He waves to Jade, the once-hostile hostess with whom he shared some conciliatory baklava and wine two episodes ago, after his model-date ditched him."
   — Christopher Orr, New York Times, 26 April 2023

If you like, use this space to write. (To save your work, copy and paste it into an email or a document.)

before you review, play:

Try to spend 20 seconds or more on the game below. Don’t skip straight to the review—first, let your working memory empty out.

Our game for this month is Palindromes in Poems: Yay!

Check out the snippet of a poem, and supply the missing palindrome: the word spelled the same backward and forward, like "yay," "sees," or "racecar." Highlight the hints if you need them, and see the answer by scrolling all the way down. Enjoy!

Try this one today:

"What has but a few hairs in the snapshot?
A bit of muzzle,
No more than a pug's worth for a rented red _____,
For this sailor swallowed by enormous wax lips."   
   — James Reidel, "Miley Cyrus or Manatee?," 2013

To reveal the hints below, highlight the hidden white text.

Hint 1: The number of letters in this palindrome is... five.
Hint 2: The letter that this palindrome starts and ends with is... "K."

review this word:

1. Opposites of CONCILIATORY include

A. PLAYFUL and SPORTIVE (full of goofy mischief).
B. INCONSISTENT and ALEATORY (based on random chance).
C. INSTIGATIVE (making people angry) and POLARIZING (driving people apart).

2. In a novel, Kazuo Ishiguro wrote "I did hope that she might finally... make some conciliatory response or other, allowing us once and for all to _____."

A. buy a fine house and good suits
B. put the whole episode behind us
C. end this tradition of making dull speeches

Answers to the review questions: 1. C 2. B Answer to the game question: "What has but a few hairs in the snapshot? A bit of muzzle, No more than a pug's worth for a rented red kayak, For this sailor swallowed by enormous wax lips."       — James Reidel, "Miley Cyrus or Manatee?," 2013

a final word:

I hope you're enjoying Make Your Point. It's made with love. I'm Liesl Johnson, a reading and writing tutor on a mission to explore, illuminate, and celebrate words. From my blog: On vocabulary...       36 ways to study words.       Why we forget words, & how to remember them.       How to use sophisticated words without being awkward. On writing...       How to improve any sentence.       How to motivate our kids to write.       How to stop procrastinating and start writing.       How to bulk up your writing when you have to meet a word count. From my heart: a profound thanks to the generous patrons, donors, and sponsors that make it possible for me to write these emails. If you'd like to be a patron or a donor, please click here. If you'd like to be a sponsor and include your ad in an issue, please contact me at Liesl@HiloTutor.com. A disclaimer: When I write definitions, I use plain language and stick to the words' common, useful applications. If you're interested in authoritative and multiple definitions of words, I encourage you to check a dictionary. Also, because I'm American, I stick to American English when I share words' meanings, usage, and pronunciations; these elements sometimes vary across world Englishes.